14
May
2018

Damaged by the Past

jo-moses

Jo-Anne and Moses have both been trampled by their past experiences, but do past relationships really define one’s future?

Jo-Anne: I came from a broken home without my father, so I never had that ‘perfect couple’ to look up to; I had no idea of what it meant to have true love. I never had that ‘father-daughter love’, so in some way, I felt like I lacked love as a whole.

Moses: My case is different because I grew up seeing my parents united. Even so, though I believed in marriage and that people could be happy like my parents; I just didn’t believe it could happen to me, because of past failed relationships.

What type of people would you go for?

Jo-Anne: I’ve dated various types of guys, some I encountered face-to-face and others I spoke to online and arranged to meet. As I didn’t know much about love, I would search for it in different places.

Moses: The wrong ones! I’ve never tried going into chat rooms or anything like that; it was more based on if I met you and I liked you and vice versa, then we would date.

What were your past relationships like? 

Jo-Anne: None of my relationships would last long; we would either break up due to cheating, I’d get bored of the relationship, or the person would lose interest in me.

Moses: My past relationships were full of unfaithfulness; the girlfriends I had at the time weren’t the ones I could consider marrying or settling down with, as I couldn’t trust any of them. In fact, a four-year relationship came to an end because the girl cheated on me.

How did your past relationships affect your views on relationships as a whole? 

Jo-Anne: My past relationships caused me to become numb; after having my heart broken so many times, I no longer cared about love. My mentality became: ‘Before they mess with me, I am going to mess with them’ because I had had enough of being hurt.

Moses: Because of constant disappointment, I had major trust issues. I gave up on trust completely.

How did you change your views on love? 

Moses: We both attended the Love Therapy meetings separately before we knew each other, and this allowed us to work on issues we had from the past.

Jo-Anne: For instance, I had low self-esteem; in fact, I had no self-value at all, and the Love Therapy helped me to overcome my insecurities. I learned that before I could enter into a relationship, I first had to rebuild myself, or it wouldn’t have worked out.

Moses: As for me, the trust issues I had meant I also wasn’t ready for a relationship. I had to work on myself, and the seminars really helped me in doing this. Today, I’m a new man! I trust my wife 100%. I’m not constantly calling her like I did with other girls in the past.

There is trust in our relationship, which is the most important thing, and I am certain she is the right one for me. We are genuinely happy and united; we don’t have to force anything. I believe that marriage does work! Although I never saw myself settling down or being faithful to one woman or even trusting any female enough to call her my wife; here I am happier than ever, married to my beautiful wife.

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